Member-only story

Are Avoidant People the Real Problem with Dating?

Dr. Jennifer B. Rhodes
7 min readNov 8, 2019

--

Photo by Priscilla Du Preez

As someone who has had to work my ass off to earn my emotional security through the years, I understand my clients when they constantly text me asking if the latest date is really interested in them. Or when they ask for “techniques” to get someone to fall for them. Or when someone simply plays hot and cold. I remember those days when I would sit with my girlfriends and do the same thing. I’ve learned from all of these experiences that if you need to host a play by play viewing party, your anxiety has been activated.

While it may be easiest to blame an avoidant partner (as conventional dating advice often encourages us to do), the real lesson that needs to be learned is to face your anxiety and earn your self-confidence back. That’s right, the annoying avoidant partner is really your best opportunity to overcome your anxiety.

Carl Jung says, “Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.” If we are getting annoyed at someone’s perceived unavailability, what does that really say about our own availability?

Breaking the Rules to Clear my Relationship Karma

I recently was introduced to someone through a mutual friend that I quite liked. He, however, had all the classic signs of someone emotionally avoidant right…

--

--

Dr. Jennifer B. Rhodes
Dr. Jennifer B. Rhodes

Written by Dr. Jennifer B. Rhodes

Sex & Relationship Alchemist | Author & Speaker | Intuitive | Psychologist @jenniferbrhodes

No responses yet