If you have been attempting to date the past couple of years and have been struggling, you’re not alone. There are changes coming in the way we perceive and participate in relationships coming. For many of you, you will already see the changes starting to happen and will experience a decreased interest in online dating, working with a matchmaker or other tools of dating that worked in the past.
This week, I witnessed the push back of a group of women on the Instagram wall of a well known male dating coach for women. He suggested that the best way for women to move on from the pain of being with the wrong person is to find someone else who values you more. This is an old way to heal that is very much rooted in a less conscious approach to relationships. If, however, you are like me and have been shifting in your level of consciousness for quite some time, you may be feeling the call to let go of these outdated “expert” opinions of how to manage your dating life. What was, however, most interesting about the post was not in the women’s views that this seemed inappropriate but in his response that because he has worked with women for over 15 years, that women should simply listen to his call for empowerment.
This dynamic is now over. You do not need a relationship “expert.” You need a teacher and a spiritual guide to help you trust your intuition and manage the changes that are happening on a collective level.
“To the ego, loving and wanting are the same, whereas true love has no wanting in it, no desire to possess or for your partner to change.” — Eckhart Tolle
Our new world will be delivered first in the context of our relationships. We are moving away from toxic insecurity and are on a path of healing. Many of us who have been healing will be prepared to help other heal very soon. It is necessary for us to all work together to help support the next generation who are here to help us remember the importance of love, relationships and family. The healing that needs to take place is of the divine feminine — her intuition and unconscious thought processes.
Yet, we still have a lot of work to do and we have been consciously fearful of this time. As we all become more and more comfortable with the idea of the unconscious, the more and more we will have to purge the collective shadows that are holding us back from truly understanding what true intimacy and emotionally availability are. We have a lot of negativity to face and accept. We will be continuing to evaluate our thoughts on sex and love. We will begin to question whether our behaviors, that have long been driven by common dating advice, are relevant for our collective future. We will, hopefully, be moving to a place of more love and less drama. We are all exhausted and as we continue to choose to heal, we will no longer have time for relationships that do not reflect a growing level of consciousness.
Will this lead to more breakups and divorces? Absolutely. As womxn step into their powers, the willingness to tolerate low level energetic connections will wane. The anger toward others will be channeled elsewhere. The need for sex will be transformed if healthy and available partners are not available. Relationships just became the delivery source of the triggering needed for us to raise our consciousness. The result will be a higher level of discernment and commitment to the self before a beautiful opening to a new level of intimacy and connection.
The Nature of Spiritual Connections
One of the ways the Universe will deliver these changes is through our dating lives. Love is a powerful motivator for us to do the work we need to do to heal. The old paradigm is to sit in couples therapy for years on end and emotionally process the conscious and concrete issue that transpire in our relationships. This, likely, will not feel satisfying to our souls. Rather than working with the conscious, we will have to dive into our unconscious and realize that the issue transpiring in our relationships are not the color of your dates shoes or your husband’s inability to put his socks in the hamper. The two of you were brought together for a reason and the Universe is asking if you are ready to listen to what she has to say to you.
For those in healthy relationships, it will mean a call to serve and build soul based businesses to help support and teach others through this great change. For those that are in the notorious twin flame connection — the path is to keep clearing triggers and walking toward your life purpose. Union is not necessarily the end goal as the redistribution and balancing of the energy between the counterparts. We need everyone functioning at their full capacity to bring forth what we hope will be a stronger, happier and more loving future.
Personal Development will Matter More than Just Being in Therapy
As part of this journey, it will not be enough to have just a therapist. The paradigm for healing will need to change. Psychology used to be the branch of healing that focused on the unconscious but we have lost our way. We shifted to focusing on just the conscious behavior for a long time and we will have a shortage of clinicians well versed in relational psychoanalysis and other forms of psychotherapy capable of truly digging into the unconscious. This will herald a call for more intuitive healers and artists capable of helping us learn to channel our emotions into something far more beautiful.
Does this mean you no longer listen to your psychologist? No, but it is a call of awareness to stop putting your advisory board on a pedestal above you. All healers, good therapists included, are here to help you walk your journey but we cannot tell you what to do. It is your choice to decide if you are on a path of increasing your level of consciousness. It is also up to you to decide if you are ready to face the fear of feminine energy and dive deep into your unconscious to face the self-limiting beliefs and behaviors holding you back from your life path and a more conscious, loving romantic life.
3 Tips to Manage this Transition
The end of a paradigm is not an easy transition. Many of us will have to make drastic changes to participate in what is coming. The three pieces of wisdom I can share that helped in my transition are:
- Invest in developing and learning to trust your intuition: Our intuitive powers have been suppressed and devalued in most aspects of our life for far too long. You will need them to ascertain which connections can go with you into the future. Follow your inner guidance and take classes, read books or work with an intuitive healer to learn how to access this part of yourself.
- Invest in taking care of your body: Raising your level of consciousness is hard on your body. It is important now to focus on your health and physical well being. Yoga, meditation, adequate nutrition and enough sleep are just some of the things that help. Follow your internal guidance system about where you could be paying more attention.
- Stop dating or close the chapter on relationships that are not working: Healing can be a very challenging time. It can create havoc with our energy levels. As such, we can no longer give our attention to online dating experiences that do not bring joy or persons who drain our energy. Raising your level of intuition will help you learn more boundaries but many of us need to make a conscious decision to close some chapters in our life to focus on our self-growth and self-love.
We need every single one of you to feel emotionally free to find the people who will make your heart sing and whom will serve humanity. You are not alone in walking the healing path and you have not lost your mind thinking that dating and relationships took a sudden detour. It is all happening for a reason. Keep walking your journey.
Dr. Jennifer B. Rhodes is an intuitive healer, yoga instructor, licensed psychologist, and the forthcoming author of Toxic Insecurity: The Path of Relational Spirituality and Our Search for Authentic Love and Love Letters to My Soul. You can follow her on Instagram @jenniferbrhodes.