Why Awakening is So Destructive

This week has been full of amazing moments and epiphanies of the things I’ve done wrong in the past. When you’ve seen your past play out during an awakening it is hard not to crawl under a table and bawl your eyes out. You are literally being taken home and it can be an incredibly painful experience to remember who you really are.

Over the weekend in a breathwork class, I released the remnants of an old relationship that I thought I had processed. The realization of what I missed and how toxic the relationship was took me by surprise. But so did the apology and the offer for help. I was so angry and resentful at the loss of the relationship that I thought was leading to marriage that I, over time, became someone that is not in alignment with who I really am. At that time, I started a business and threw myself into work to compensate for the pain.

That story has played out on more than one occasion and has led to many heartbreaks and I am finally seeing the pattern. For someone who is so competent and intellectual, it is humbling to have to finally admit that I don’t have a flipping clue why people show up in my life — well except I’m psychic and they send me messages. I’ve journeyed enough to have seen some past lives and there is such beauty in the experiences my soul has had. The pain of not being able to (yet) move forward to build a new life and thrive has…